UPDATED: 20 June 2022. Every year, reality TV bin fire Married at First Sight comes back for another season. Every year, people talk about how much they hate the show, how dangerous and trashy it is. In 2021, discussion around contestant Bryce Ruthven made it seem like a ‘new low’ for the show, but it’s not that different to previous seasons (Dean Wells comes to mind) or Selin and Andrew in 2022. Despite all the negative talk, MAFS dominates the TV ratings every year. Seriously, it’s one of the only shows* that regularly hits over one million viewers when it airs, which doesn’t include people who stream it post-broadcast on 9Now. So what’s the deal? Why do people watch MAFS?
Here are four psychological theories that explain why so many people still watch MAFS despite constantly complaining about it.
*For reference, the only other TV show that hits over 1m viewers is The Block – nothing else comes close.
1. Our brains reward schadenfreude
Schadenfreude is when we feel pleasure from witnessing someone else’s misfortune or pain. And MAFS is heavy on the schadenfreude, baking cheating scandals and dramatic dinner party arguments into the storyline – not only do these painful emotional experiences play out publicly in front of the nation on TV, but for the contestants they also unfold in front of each other. MAFS doubles down on public humiliation.
Watching this is similar to the little thrill we get from witnessing cancel culture – our brain rewards us for watching someone else get publicly knocked down so that we learn what behaviours society deems unacceptable. It trains us to avoid those behaviours ourselves and preserve our own reputation within the group.
Schadenfreude is the ‘dark side’ to learning how to become a productive member of the community. Our need to witness ‘bad’ and ‘good’ behaviour as children, and to see that bad behaviour is punished, doesn’t disappear as we get older. In fact, it’s a huge driver for the success of reality TV shows like MAFS.
When the show casts, scripts or pushes contestants to lie, cheat, fight, gaslight, manipulate or throw drinks at each other, they are offering up the trigger for schadenfreude: publicly demonstrated bad behaviour. Then, viewers are invited to complete the transaction by trashing the contestant’s reputation. Off with their head!
I can’t believe that Jason is able to accurately sum up my face for the last six weeks every time Bryce opens his mouth.#MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/mOOP6s9Rlf
— So Dramatic! Podcast (@sodramaticpod) April 6, 2021
2. We’re testing our own beliefs and behaviours
There is also an element of testing our own beliefs and behaviours without having to really do anything ourselves. Reality TV, particularly relationship-driven shows, could fall under social learning theory.
Under this theory, reality TV helps us validate what we would do in a similar situation by putting other ‘regular’ people in those situations and letting us see where their choices lead. This works for familiar situations, like having an argument with someone at a dinner party. If the contestants react how you would, you’ll identify with them and want to see them succeed. If they don’t react how you would, it’s easy to find yourself rooting for them to cast out and shamed (see: schadenfreude).
Even for situations that most of us haven’t been in – stranded with a bunch of strangers, a la Survivor – reality TV can be seen as helping us learn what we might do. Would we be tough enough for physical challenges on an empty stomach? Would we be forming complicated alliances and playing the social game? We know that while we’ll never be in actual Survivor circumstances, the beliefs and behaviours on display apply to situations in real life.
Reality TV gives us an easy, low-effort way to suss out what we really think.
3. We don’t understand how TV success is measured
This one goes out to the irony-watchers! Loads of people say they ‘hate watch’ MAFS but they don’t actually support the show. But it’s not possible to passively or ironically consume media, because every click, view, or listen is essentially an endorsement of the content.
Perhaps the viewing public doesn’t have a solid understanding of how media success is measured.
The only true way for TV networks to understand which shows Australia thinks is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is in the audience numbers. If the first episode in a season has high viewership but it drops right off from episode two and never recovers, there is a good chance it won’t get renewed. But that doesn’t happen with MAFS. It retains consistently high viewer numbers all the way through. When there is a scandal, numbers go even higher.
Advertisers pay to reach as many people as possible, so in the eyes of the networks a good show is one with big audience numbers. Every hate watch contributes to the endorsement of MAFS as ‘good’, and signals to Channel 9 that they should make another season.
So if you watch MAFS but you think it’s terrible for society, we’re going to need you to pick a side. It’s not possible to disconnect your views from the continued success of the show.
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4. We want to indulge in gossip with no personal risk
Gossip serves an important function in society. It helps us form and maintain social bonds, and helps to spread ideas about what we collectively deems good and bad behaviour to keep the structures of our society in place.
Despite the evolutionary benefits of gossiping, we’ve been taught not to talk about people we know because it could be hurtful. Fair enough. Enter MAFS, the perfect stand-in: the show gives viewers lots to gossip about without putting anyone they know in real life at risk. It provides an opportunity to indulge in drama that you’re allowed, in fact encouraged, to talk about with your friends. And no one that you know gets hurt. It feels safe and harmless.
But someone does have to pay the price in the end, and lots of reality TV contestants have spoken out about how discussions about them took a serious toll on their mental health. A former House Rules contestant successfully sued Channel 7 for portraying her as a villain, which led to her being bullied online and unable to get work after the show aired. MAFS contestant Domenica Calarco revealed she was being treated for PTSD after her season aired, often experiencing symptoms when sitting at a dinner table or in a group social setting.
Reality TV gives the illusion of ‘harmless’ drama, but even the most loyal viewers must know that’s not the truth.
