Content warning: this article discusses sexual assault and violence and may be distressing to some readers.
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have come, rightfully, under fire for writing letters of support for their friend Danny Masterson, now a convicted rapist. This is infuriating for many reasons – not only is it yet another example of powerful people protecting their own, but it squanders the important role that an abuser’s community could play in helping to reform, rehabilitate and prevent further abuse. What if empathy was used as an accountability tool to stop sexual assault and abuse, instead of as a weapon to enable it?
Community support is crucial for justice
Let’s be very clear up front: it is completely normal and justified for the victims of sexual assault to want their abuser to go to prison.
The facts remain that in Australia, only 16% of sexual assault reports made to police will make it to court. Life sentences, like the one Masteron must now serve, are also uncommon – the average time served for sexual assault in Australia is 4.5 years.
Even when people are convicted, the criminal justice system does not address the root causes of crime, including sexual assault. It does not prevent recidivism (the likelihood of reoffending). The NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research found incarceration has little impact on getting convicted persons ‘out of crime’, and has the potential to “increase the likelihood of further reoffending.”
The conversation around sexual assault cases is delicate, but if prison time alone was an effective way to stop crime… there wouldn’t be any more crime. What happens after a convicted abuser has served their time and is released?
This is where restorative justice and community support play critical roles in fostering true rehabilitation and societal healing.
Restorative justice is designed to encourage offenders to acknowledge their actions, comprehend the harm they’ve inflicted, and provide them with a chance for personal growth and redemption to deter them from committing future harm. It is most often done through structured programs and community reintegration, including after a person after release from prison.
There are a few key factors that lead sex offenders to reoffend, including: emotional immaturity, anti-social behavior, physical and emotional isolation. Community is an important safeguard against all of these. Isolating offenders from their communities can create a breeding ground for resentment, despair, and a lack of accountability. Just look at incels: they feel unwelcome in their IRL communities, which primes them to be drawn into online echo chambers. Their most negative, unhealthy ideas are reinforced, cutting them off from normal society even further. Unsurprisingly, it’s having supportive community (alongside education) that helps men find their way out of these spaces.
If a sex offender goes to prison, integrating back into society through structured support systems offers them the human empathy and resources needed to confront their actions. We can’t shame people into rehabilitation. The right community support encourages individuals to acknowledge the harm they have caused and assists their reintegration as responsible, accountable members of society.
It is really sensitive and difficult to talk about these things. But isn’t stopping future assaults what we all want?
Abusing empathy at the expense of the victim
Which brings us back to Ashton, Mila and the 50 other people who wrote letters of support for Danny Masterson. This is not what rehabilitation-focussed community looks like; these are people only interested in avoiding accountability, perhaps motivated by how accountability for Masterson would reflect on them as his friends and peers.
Masteron has been an active member of Scientology for decades. This is a cult notorious for sexual and child abuse rumors, famous for isolating members from broader society to indoctrinate them. It’s not exactly surprising that Masterson would display anti-social, abusive and emotionally immature behavior – indicators for repeating offending.
That’s where community, like Ashton and Mila, should come in. The antidote to dangerous isolation is connection to and support from your peers. But that’s not what they’re providing.
The type of support the couple gave was not only extremely disrespectful to victims, but ultimately unhelpful to any potential rehabilitation for Masterson himself (whether that is even possible at this point). Where were they when rumors first circulated about his crimes? Where were they when victims came forward? When given the chance to speak on Masterson’s sentencing, where was their approach of accountability?
Masteron’s sister, Alanna, allegedly tried to intimidate one of his victims during the trial, while the victim was having a panic attack in the bathroom. It is not Masteron’s friends or family’s fault that he raped multiple women, but it is clear that this community has failed to hold him accountable at any point. They contributed to creating an environment where he thought his actions would be without consequence, and they doubled down on this with the content of their support letters.
Enabling and shielding abusers, especially when done by influential individuals or institutions, undermines the possibility for rehabilitation and reform. It sends a message that abusive behavior can be excused or downplayed, preventing victims from achieving justice and block any potential for abusers to change.
Empathy and accountability should go hand-in-hand, for the benefit of victims and society. But responses like Ashton and Mila’s uses ‘empathy’ to protect and excuse abusers at the expense of victims. Instead of opening up a pathway to growth, it’s more likely to send the abuser down a path of continued destruction and repeated harm against others.
Where to now?
If we believe that rehabilitation – of not just abusers as people, but our society as a whole – is possible, we have to create communities that enforce accountability and growth. The wellbeing and safety of victims must always be prioritised, which means it’s not up to them to do the educating and emotional labor… it’s up to the community around the abuser.
Discovering that a friend or family member has committed sexual assault, abuse or violence will be distressing. But being a supportive friend means creating an environment where accountability, rehabilitation, and the prevention of further harm are paramount. It means encouraging them to take responsibility; seek guidance from professionals like therapists, counselors, educators and support groups; to make amends if that’s what the victim wants; and to be there through the challenging, emotional process of it all. It means not letting them fall into groups that try to justify what they’ve done or encourage them to repeat it.
It would be refreshing to hear how friends like Ashton, Mila and the rest intend to support an abuser through the painful process of exiting cults or toxic groups, act as an accountability buddy for mandated therapy or professional help, and protect them from becoming further hardened by the whole experience.
That would be so much more supportive and helpful than simply insisting “but they were always nice to me.”
Smart people read more:
Can an abusive partner ever reform? – Cosmopolitan UK
Why the Statistics Around ‘False’ Sexual Assault Claims Are Even Lower Than We Think
Boy Problems – Mother Jones
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