Rivalry between generations is nothing new. And while feeling angry about the systemic issues that makes life disproportionately challenging for young people in the 21st Century, on an individual level the battle between generations is holding us back. There is so much wisdom, love and knowledge to be found in intergenerational relationships, even though a lot of media and online discourse seems intent on keeping us ideologically divided from our elders. Tom Forrest, also known as Outback Tom, is working to change that.
You might recognise Tom, a Yorta Yorta man, from his work as a digital journalist, appearing on ABC shows like My Year 12 Life, or from the viral videos he’s been making with his Grandad Steve. Speaking to Tom about his relationship with his grandfather was one of the most heartwarming interviews I did in 2023. It’s immediately obvious that the love and respect between them is deep. “When I think about the relationship I have with my granddad and how that’s become a lot stronger, it has shaped me into a better person,” Tom says. “It’s taught me a lot about myself and what’s important to me when it comes to things like relationships with my family, learning more and I guess what my priorities are. Being able to do what I do with him is incredible.”
Work has Tom frequently moving between major cities, regional and remote locations, where he’s notices the difference in how people relate to each other. “When I look at regional areas, towns and communities, it’s common to see these generational relationships whether that’s via the family business or companies they run. It gives you access to those small-town connections — you’re able to build these relationships with your family.”
Of course, while there are many reasons why living “out bush” is not right for everybody, we can still take that small-town approach to cultivating deeper connections with the people around us – especially older generations. The value that comes from these relationships is so precious, certainly enough to commit to a regular “yarn over a coffee every Saturday.”
The big differences between the world that we know and the one our grandparents grew up in, is precisely what makes intergenerational relationships so important. They know things we don’t, and vice versa; that knowledge should be shared. “At the end of the day, the older people have already been through the real life stuff, the day to day living or building relationships. So I realized that anything I’ve been through, there’s a good chance that the older generation has too,” Tom says. “Speaking to my grandfather about certain things and getting his take as someone that I trust… It’s given me the opportunity to learn more, build more as a person, be more open to different opinions and learning new things.”
The relationship I have with my granddad has shaped me into a better person… it’s taught me a lot about myself and what my priorities are.
So, how has learning from Tom shaped Grandad Steve? “I think I’ve helped him develop more of a creative side, when it comes to the films we make. That’s been the beauty is showing him what it’s like to make films and engage a large audience, put ideas out there that resonate with people and entertain them and ideally make their days better. It’s a privilege to share that with him.”
These connections should not be restricted to family, either. Intergenerational relationships within your community are just as important for our collective wellbeing. ABC shows Old People’s Home For 4 Year Olds and Old People’s Home For Teenagers show not only how harsh the consequences of loneliness can be, but how much healing can be found in intergenerational friendship. Tom has also prioritised building friendships with older folks who are now “like family”. “They’re now almost like other mums and dads, other aunties and uncles and grandparents – I even recently connected with a fellow named Uncle Ken, in the South Australia region. You can still create these amazing relationships with the older generation that aren’t in your family circle who can provide just as much to you and ideally, you can provide just as much to them.”
If you’re eager but nervous about where to start, Tom has great advice. “Ask questions! Older people have been around so much longer than us young people. They have so many more stories to tell, often more wisdom, more knowledge. Asking the question is how you find out more about them about their story.”
Like any meaningful relationship, it starts with open-mindedness, empathy, and a willingness to listen and learn from one another. Instead of clinging to stereotypes and preconceived notions, we must approach each other with curiosity and respect. We don’t always have to agree on everything being said, so long as we can respect the interaction for what it is – someone sharing their experience, their perspective, and a piece of themselves with you. The positive progress we want to see in this world is not possible without having a healthy dialogue between generations, where stories are shared, experiences are honored, and understanding is cultivated.
One of my greatest regrets in my own life is that I never got to know my grandparents in the way that I would want to know them now. I wasn’t asking them the right questions, like: why they thought the world we shared was the way it was, what they knew when they were my age, what they would go back and change?We only have a short window of time to learn from our elders and enjoy the time we have with them in the present – we should build these relationships before it’s too late. Our future depends on it.
More inspiring interviews:
Elikia Cardot Is A New Age Friendship Matchmaker… And She’s Inviting You To Dinner
Being Seen: Milo Hartill on How You Can Demand Better On-Screen Representation
Scobie McKay Is Documenting The Absurdity & Tragedy of Australia’s Alt-Right Fringe
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